usertype{noodge} =>
The noodge is misunderstood to be a complainer or someone who pesters. This is a superficial definition.
Noodges must delegate most of their tasks due to the nature of their work roles—they rarely hold positions where they actually produce anything material—but they are utterly incapable of communicating delegated tasks in a manner that coworkers can easily understand. Thus almost every request from a noodge requires clarifications and a series annoyed questions and follow-ups to several other people. These follow-ups trace circular paths through most nodes of office hierarchy, inducing shaking heads, sighs, fowarded emails with sarcastic comments, and occasional bouts of fury. Noodge requests seem rude and off-hand, but this is usually due to a deficiency of empathy and foresight in the noodge, not any rude intentions. Noodges are often haunted by the well-founded suspicion that, although they must delegate, everything they delegate comes out slightly wrong.
Therefore, castigate not the noodge. Do not attempt to educated the noodge, for the noodge does not want or need further education. Seek no clarification from the noodge, for you shall only receive further obfuscation. Let the noodge’s requests pass through you unedited, so that the return path goes back to the noodge, and not to you.
A noodge-trapping preprocessor:
use UMM::DopeSlap qw( WTF? ); use Common::Sense; use Time::MyTime;
if ($requesterType{$currentRequester} eq "noodge") {
@realRequest = &noodgit($currentRequest);
for $possibleRequests (@realRequest) {
exit $_ if &processRequest($_) unless WTF?;
}
} else {
exit $currentRequest if &processRequest($currentRequest) unless WTF?;
}
sub noodgit {
my ($request, $requester) = @_;
while ( WTF? || $tm->wasted < 5min ) {
push @realRequest, kwg ( gro ($request * peg ( $requester ) ) );
}
return @realRequest;
}
This is highly simplified, but the basic idea is if you must process a noodge’s request, do not do so directly. Always use peg to remind yourself of the user’s general personality, gro to rise above semantics and general rules of grammar to get at the meat of the intention behind the seed of the request, and wrap kwg around the whole thing to sift out the herrings. And of course, never process a request if you’re still thinking “WTF?”
