Actively Seek Inaction

proud and unbroken
actively seek inaction
get to the point please

The diagnostic mindset can be a detriment. You can come off seeming rude, obnoxious, worse than a CIA interrogator with no leash.

“Did you install any software recently? Did you or did you not?”
“Have you changed any settings on your computer? Are you sure?”
“When did this start happening? Be precise.”
“Okay, but you said XYZ, which means it didn’t start until two days ago.”

You justifiably want to find out WTF happened. But users seeking help always provide a song and dance as preface to the statement of the problem. The preface is different every time, but you’ve probably noticed patterns. Some individuals need to vent before, during, and after statement of a problem. Others feel the need to explain the importance of the issue, as if they need to convince you it’s worth your time. Still others feel the need to prove that they’ve considered the problem in an intelligent manner before bringing it to your attention.

Actually, all of these are legitimate greetings in the office realm, and they reflect the given user’s relationship with the issue and with you. So here are some suggestions for getting people to get to the point.

Don’t be in a hurry. Sit tight and hear them out. If they are spinning their wheels, take it as an opportunity to ponder their relationship to the computer. You will demonstrate that you care about what they have to say, and give their momentum a chance to slow down.

Do not respond to accusatory language unless you plan to apologize for something. Occasionally users come off sounding like they’re blaming you, because in some sort of logic akin to the doctrine of original sin, you are guilty of everything technology throws their way, even self-inflicted disasters. Rise above this tone and move past it. It’s not your problem.

Do not respond immediately to incorrect statements. Ultimately, if the user does not understand how email really works, does it matter? Are you such a great teacher that you can convey the necessary concepts in a few minutes? If you must correct a user’s statement, do so after fixing the problem. Your correction will have more authority at that point.

Answer only questions that need to be answered. Some users can produce more ‘why’ questions than a four year old. Some can be answered with a smile, a shrug, or a roll of the eyes, or nothing.

Do not answer stupid questions with intelligent answers. If the question is stupid, it’s ill-informed. If you are cornered and must answer, then inform the user so that they can frame a better question.

Refuse to multitask. If someone speaks to you, or you speak to them, face them with full attention. I find that if I continue to work on a computer while having a conversation with the user, they tend to slip into a stream of consciousness that is mostly irrelevant to the problem at hand.

Learn to politely interrupt. This requires experience, empathy, and timing. The general principle is to let them spin their wheels until a natural pause comes, then somehow acknowledge the general trajectory of their spiel as valid and indicate that you understand where they’re going. Then, in the same breath, provide a new direction for the conversation.

Do not make it a secret that you would prefer to do nothing. The Tao says to do only what needs be done. Laziness is a programmer’s virtue. Just don’t come right out and say you are a lazy Taoist. Perhaps you can teach the user to fix the problem. Perhaps it’s operator error? Perhaps it’s not plugged in?

Do not blame the user, even implicitly. This will start a whole new stream of self-justification. Instruct, if you must, but not much.

Get to the point. I’ve never met a user who wanted an extended explanation. Ever.