always make progress
never admitting defeat
shiny competence
This one has always irritated me because a) it’s fake and condescending to put up a facade that plays to people’s weaknesses in perception, and b) it works every freakin’ time.
Why should it work? Why am I not allowed to utter the following while helping someone with a technical issue?
- I don’t know.
- I have no idea.
- I’ll try.
- I’m not sure.
- Let me think about it.
If you say any of these things, the person who has asked for your help will doubt your competence. You can often visibly see them cringe. They think, “Damn, I should have asked someone who knows what they’re doing.” It doesn’t matter who they are, how smart they are, etc. The moment you pause to visibly think, they think the worst.
So what do you do? You provide filler and busy work. You give immediate answers and start seemingly prudent diagnostic actions. You immediately set to work. You admit no uncertainty.
The funny thing is, you can choose not to answer questions that have answers like “I don’t know” and fill in answers to implied questions. For example, “What do you think is wrong with my computer?”
Real Answer: “I have no idea, but I can find out if you let me try a few things.”
Competent Answer: “Let’s see, do mind if I drive?”
The real answer gets a Pavlovian negative response. The competent answer does not. There is no real difference between the two answers except in tone. Yet because in the second one you do not come out and use words like “don’t know” and “try”, you’re okay.
I know this sounds bizarre, but it’s ironclad. I think it also explains how the current administration has gotten so much political traction with their arrogance, but that’s another topic.
